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Fighting Fear
September 23rd, 2009 | Dean Arrindell
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I started to feel the anxiety – which had been gone all day – begin to creep back, but I just dove into the speech. First, I thanked several family members and friends for their help with the ceremony or their efforts in coming such great distances. Then it was time to toast Holly. I did it without being funny or silly. I just spoke from the heart.. and word-for-word from the speech I had composed, typed-out and brought with me.
In the end, it wasn't so bad. I should've talked louder, but I think I did pretty well. No one shook their head in disappointment, booed or threw a tomato. And the most important person in the audience, Holly, liked it. After the toast was done and dusted, I could relax and enjoy the rest of the day.
Saturday's toast at the reception was a similar situation. I was busy with details, talking to guests and having a great time. Suddenly, it was toast time. I was still nervous, but more confident because of the previous day's speech. The reality of giving a good wedding toast outweighed what I imagined how bad it could be. It also helped that I was on a high from a fantastic weekend.
We humans have fantastic imaginations that can put fear into overdrive. When that happens, as it did with me, fear can be paralyzing. But fear doesn't just affect us when giving a speech or anticipating a big event. The fear of terrorism made the U.S. do some irrational things: invade a country that had nothing to do with 9/11, and allow the barbaric treatment of prisoners without consideration for the same legal rights we hold dear. Fear makes us freak out when a new flu pops up. Think about how bad hype and fear surrounding Swine Flu was. Then there's all the fear about Obama turning us into a socialist/communist/fascist/Nazi country. (I'm still trying to wrap my head around that one.) I'm not entirely happy with the way Obama is running things, but my imagination isn't running away with itself. I'm not fearful of him and think there are going to be death panels or FEMA-run indoctrination camps.
Giving those toasts was a lesson to me about fear. If you don't control it, then it will control you. I realized fear can stop you dead in your tracks, or make you do stupid things. Since knowledge is power, all I have to do is take this lesson and apply it.
I fear that'll be easier said than done.
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Related Topics: Fear, Getting Married, politics
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Dean Arrindell | 3 Comments »
Fighting Fear
(via Facebook, MySpace, Digg, email and more)
September 27th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
I love you both!
September 30th, 2009 at 7:48 am
The journey to the marriage is a mixture of the unknown. That is the fear. I am happy that your fear did not overtake you.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:36 am
You did a terrific job of overcoming fear. It's really something that comes from the unknown. But once we looks at the unknown as an opportunity rather than a threat, the whole world opens up!