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Took My Chances on a Big Jet Plane
October 29th, 2008 | Devin Pratt
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Those closest to me know that I've never been a fan of flying. In fact, up until a few weeks ago, I had never even set foot on an airplane. My entire life I had somehow successfully managed to avoid flying at all costs. Sure, I've wanted to go to new places and experience new things, but, in the end, the fear of being 30,000 feet in the air was more powerful than any beautiful sunset or architectural wonder a foreign land could offer.
I've been able to disguise the fear by throwing around my stories of Los Angeles, Chicago, and Las Vegas — I just never mentioned that I got there by train. Yes, three-day trips cross-country on Amtrak without showering, all because I couldn't suck it up and take a 5-hour flight.
Ever since I was a kid I would have nightmares about going to an airport, waiting in the boarding area, and getting on the plane — but I never actually took off in any of those dreams. I always managed to wake up before the plane became airborne. In my mind, that was some higher awareness telling me that I WILL DIE IN A PLANE CRASH. Oh, those words! Seriously, look how scary they are! In fact, it was probably some similar headline or news report I saw when I was a little kid that instilled this fear in me to begin with.
I even resorted to a therapist at one point, but paying $100 per hour to have someone repeatedly say, "Now envision yourself setting in a nice, big seat on the airplane. Isn’t that nice?" only caused me to develop a fear of therapists — and I still wasn't any closer to flying.
All that changed recently when my girlfriend, Ajla, and I decided to take a trip to Hawaii. I'm not exactly sure what it was that made me say enough is enough. It could have been that the urge to travel finally grew stronger than the fear of flying. But I think most of it had to do with Ajla being so worldly. She was born and raised in Sarajevo and lived in Germany for several years. It was always awkward when she would tell me about the places she had been like Amsterdam and Paris, and my response was usually something along the lines of, "Yeah . . . North Carolina is pretty nice too."
So on October 3rd I packed up and went to JFK. I doubt she'll say it, but I think I made Ajla pretty nervous. After all, I would be hesitant to get on a plane with a guy who hadn't slept in two days and was carrying a bagful of Xanax. But as we sat in the boarding area, a funny thing happened — all was fine. I kept thinking, 'I should be more nervous than this. Maybe I'm just tired?' I kept waiting for it to come. That oh shit feeling where I race down the escalator, plow through the security checkpoint, and tear ass back to my safe little apartment. But it just never came. We waited, we boarded, we settled into our seats, the plane revved its engines and up we went. I felt a little anxiety when the plane powered up right before taking off, but all in all, it was fairly anticlimactic — and I didn't even take the Xanax.
I discovered three things in that first 20 minutes of flying — SkyMall is a pretty enjoyable catalog, stewardesses give you a free Coke once you get to cruising altitude, and most importantly, I was never actually afraid of flying. I was just afraid of what I didn't know.
I recently read an old interview with the writer Ray Bradbury where he talks about his own hang-ups and why he never flew until he was in his mid 60s. This excerpt really summed it all up for me:
" . . . about six or seven years ago, I realized that . . . that I wasn't afraid. I said, 'Wait a minute, you're supposed to be afraid.' And then I realized what had been true all along was I was never afraid of flying. I was afraid of me. I was afraid I'd run up and down the aisles and scream and say 'Stop the jet, I wanna get off!' And when that didn't happen, the fear went away completely."
The worst thing about being afraid to fly is that it's such an emasculating fear. I've ridden a motorcycle for years, but I've never been able to do something that thousands of people do every day. Hopefully all of that will change now. In fact, I made a list of all the places I want to go, including Amsterdam, London, Sarajevo, the Dalmatian Coast, Berlin, and Bombay. Oh, and I hear North Carolina is pretty nice too . . .
Overlooking Ho'okipa Beach in North Maui
Related Topics: airplane, flying, Hawaii, Maui, phobia
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Devin Pratt | Comments Off
Took My Chances on a Big Jet Plane
(via Facebook, MySpace, Digg, email and more)
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