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500 Smoke-Free Days
January 31st, 2009 | Stephen Bailey
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I dreamed I took out a crumpled pack of Winstons from my jacket pocket. I was sitting at my desk, hunched over my keyboard, stressing over some problem or another. I carefully fished out the last, unbroken cigarette.
The wretched little treat magnified in my view. I could see the grains of the paper and the fibers of the filter. Larger and larger it grew until it blinded me from all else and then … I woke up, thankful. It had been a long time since my last real cigarette.
One day back in September 2007, I decided that my lungs were done being tortured. That my blood was through being clogged with sludge. That the world around me would be free of discarded ashes and filters. And now it's 500 days later.
The desire to smoke never leaves. I know this better than most. That autumn day in 2007 was not the first time I quit smoking, but hopefully it will be my last. I've gone weeks here, months there. A year and half for one stint and an unbelievable (even to me) eight years for another.
I don't casually say that I will never smoke again, but what makes these past 500 days different form all the rest? The truth is, I wasn't thinking of my health. I wasn't thinking about the cost as our government gauged us with taxes upon taxes in the name of public safety concerns.
I quit for the very reason that kept me from quitting in the past. The addiction.
I would have a bourbon and a cigarette. I would eat breakfast and have a cigarette. I would get writer's block and have a cigarette. The whole habit became just that; a habit. And when I would finish a smoke, I'd hate it. The coughing, the tar mouth, the smell. I used to like this stuff?
Quitting was easier this time around because, unlike in the past, it didn't feel like a punishment. Saying I had to quit for my health or whatever made me feel as though I was depriving myself of a much loved vice. But when it stopped being anything but a repulsive, reflexive reaction to an impulse, suddenly that attachment I felt to it was gone. And so was the feeling that this was a punishment.
As for the health benefits, those are a welcomed side effect to quitting.
Here's to 500 more days … and more after that. to keep myself honest, I've been using a counter on my website showing my progress. Check it out.
Related Topics: doctor, health, smoking
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Stephen Bailey | 5 Comments »
500 Smoke-Free Days
(via Facebook, MySpace, Digg, email and more)
February 4th, 2009 at 2:29 am
Congratulations Stephen!
February 4th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Congrats – keep it up! I quit over 10 years ago with that same philosophy of not letting the addiction overpower me and I haven't looked back. It's not been easy, but I know I'm better off!
February 5th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I came across this when I was looking around for exercise routines for abs. I just wanted to say congrats man. And what people who don't smoke…AND DO smoke is that this shit is hard to do. You're absolutely right when you say the desire to smoke never leaves. I've only been 24 days quit. And its still tough. I am using the patch for assistance. I hope I can write about my 500 days. Keep up the good work!
February 12th, 2009 at 12:49 am
Until the age of 10 my three sisters and I and assorted other cousins would travel to North Carolina to visit my grandmother during the summers to work on the family tobacco farm. It was really a way that my grandmother's eight children provided free child labor to work on the farm.
Processing tobacco for market proved to be a dangerous and dirty job in more ways than you can imagine. At the end of the work day, the tar from the tobacco would be matted to any part of the body that was exposed including hair on the head, arms and legs. And I remember vividly the hours of amusement that came from rolling the tar off my arms and legs into thin narrow black strings for no other purpose than that I could. But what I remember most was that after three months in the fields my hands would be yellow. I did not have the maturity to connect the discoloration of hands to what lungs could look like after an extended period of time spent smoking. So one day out of boredom at age 10 I followed my older cousins (all male) to the barn to enjoy a smoke and to chew tobacco. Unfortunately, no one told me (because I should have known)not swallow the spit from the chewing tobacco.
My cousins did return me to the back porch of the house and spend several days after hanging out in the out buildings on the farm and eating from the garden because they were afraid to return to the house and explain what had happened to my grandmother.
After violently spitting up black looking bile for several days I vowed to never put anything in my mouth that did not belong there again. I am now 61 years old and have kept that promise.
What did this little adventure cost me? I am extremely allergic to cigarette smoke. So Stephen, all the best to you and stay healthy!
February 12th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Thanks Barbara. I sometimes wish I had some heinously horrific experience with tobacco at a young age that would have deterred me from smoking. But at least I can make the changes I need now. One thing I've learned is that it's never too late to quit. Lungs are the only part of the body that will rejuvenate over time. The longer I'm smoke free, the cleaner my lungs will be.