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Prescribed Resolutions
January 2nd, 2009 | Stephen Bailey
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I had no intention at all of writing some typical resolution piece. One of those lists of lies we sell ourselves under the inebriation of holiday joy or the fatalism the year's end. Those lies of improvements we stick with for about a couple of weeks or a month before falling back into our bad habits and lazy ways.
I wondered what would be my best course of action. How would I save myself from the inevitable embarrassment of explaining why I still drink too much, eat too much, sleep too much and all the other too muches come February? Well, I'd simply not make any promises of change in January.
Easy. Done. But then…
My doctor went and fucked up my usual new-year path of least resistance. He's the one who spelled out in detail the things I need to do (and not do) to more or less save my life. But are these resolutions? Sure his well-intentioned diatribe took place close to the change of calendar, but that was purely coincidental.
Or was it?
OK, not to get all new agey here, but I could have gone to the doctor at any point in the year. And yes, I could simply peg the timing of my latest visit on procrastination or a paranoia of losing my health benefits. After all, in this economy yada, yada, yada. No matter the reasons, the fact remains all of these health revelations rained on me in December — the time of resolutions.
As the sand ran out on '08, I began to realize the significance of my timing.
The doctor's words rang in my head and I found that my resolutions had indeed been made for me. In a way I was relieved since I got to bask in my own laziness one last time by having him do all the work. Well, all the work compiling the list anyway. I still have to follow thru with his suggestions. Namely…
- More fruits, veggies (not too tough)
- Less red meat (tough one)
- Less booze (tougher one)
- More fish (yuck)
- Less fried foods (but … my chips)
- Drop ten or so pounds (no comment)
- Exercise more (feel the burn)
- Sleep more (yawn)
- Stress out less (shut the hell up!!)
So, on this the second day of a new year, I'm at a crossroads and my list, as it turns out, is not a list of lies but a bona fide set of resolutions. Primarily because it was validated (or mandated) by a bona fide physician sworn to the Hippocratic Oath.
What lies … er … resolutions have you made? More importantly, do you feel confident in the success of all, some, a few of said lies … er … resolutions?
And now … The Hippocratic Oath:
I swear by Apollo Physician and Asclepius and Hygieia and Panaceia and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant:To hold him who has taught me this art as equal to my parents and to live my life in partnership with him, and if he is in need of money to give him a share of mine, and to regard his offspring as equal to my brothers in male lineage and to teach them this art - if they desire to learn it - without fee and covenant; to give a share of precepts and oral instruction and all the other learning to my sons and to the sons of him who has instructed me and to pupils who have signed the covenant and have taken an oath according to the medical law, but no one else.
I will apply dietetic measures for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice.
I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will not give to a woman an abortive remedy. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art.
I will not use the knife, not even on sufferers from stone, but will withdraw in favor of such men as are engaged in this work.
Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves.
What I may see or hear in the course of the treatment or even outside of the treatment in regard to the life of men, which on no account one must spread abroad, I will keep to myself, holding such things shameful to be spoken about.
If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with fame among all men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot.
Related Topics: doctor, health, life, new year's, resolutions
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Stephen Bailey |
Prescribed Resolutions
(via Facebook, MySpace, Digg, email and more)